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Friday, 09 October 2009

  • I am so bad keeping this up.  Facebooking everything these days.

    Trying to work some things out.

    On a good note, I've lost 18 lbs., 12 of which from Herbalife.  Seriously, this stuff is awesome!

Friday, 21 August 2009

  • A long needed update

    Holy moly I haven't been on here in forever!

    I finally got a facebook page and have become entirely too addicted to the games on there. And since, I haven't come on here.

    Let's see:  i don't work out anymore because of my foot, hopefully that changes in a month.  My mentality on the weight issue, is horrible.  It has gotten to an all time low. Horrible to say I'd be annorexic right now and loving it if it wasn't so dang difficult.  Sometimes I miss those unhealthy days of 6th grade.  I started a new diet plan as of yesterday and am stoked!  It seems kinda hard for me, but healthy and something to jump start the loss again.  My sides are starting to look a little nicer. :)   I'm gonna be losing my job here in a couple months and don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm stressed already about interviews.  I started looking to buy a town house or condo (everybody else is pushing for a house.) But probably wont happen till at least next April.  I've become more social again and talking to some I haven't in awhile, but at this point that's everyone.  I'm so bad.   I've also found myself in a reading frenzy lately.  So I admit, that reading and facebooking I have kinda alienated myself lately.   And I've had some weird dreams lately.  I mean, weird even for me.  And Hawaii has been one of the constants, oddly enough.  I mean, in my dreams I miss the water.  I miss the air, the earth, sounds, smells, variety, the people/community, and of course the ocean.  I mean if mermaids were real, I'd be one living around there.  Then maybe a lot of us are that way.  :)     And in one dream I was a US Marshall, umong many other things... but how awesome is that!  I was doing all of it to move home to Hawaii. The schooling, deciding between two loves, the three jobs, and what ever else weirdness was going on.  It was truely a hoblog of other dreams, old girl friends I used to know, two tv shows, a book, wishes, dreams, and the yearning for a place I haven't been in almost 10 years!  

    Does anyone know what the yearning for means in dreams?

    In retrospect (if i'm using it correctly) I regret not going to school there.  I try not to regret things in life.  There is only so much we can control.  Even then, it's not like we can hit the rewind buttton.  It's best to realize what went wrong and what we could do to make sure we don't do it again.  Unless in the water or on a mat I'm not the most graceful, and in life I stumble all the time.  Should I sit there and cry and feel sorry for myself.  Eh, I do for awhile if I'm going to be honest. :)   I just try to stand back up, brush off the dirt, and take a step forward.  I mean, it seems that no matter how much time I spend planning something, working towards it, it all just seems to fall between my fingers like sand.  So I try to give it all to the big guy upstairs to hold onto; His hands are bigger, and I'm sure He's the who switches my conditions. Then again, I don't always do as I'm told, I may not stumble so much if I did as I was told.  It is our choice in which way we run, which path we take, and if we're paying attention to where it's leading us... if we can see and things don't look so cloudy.  I'm starting to think that cat in Alice and Wonderland was more wise than I orginally thought. 

Saturday, 02 May 2009

  • Nigger/Nigga - The words we use

    I started reading Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None."  I thought it was originally published as Ten Little Indians and then edited and published as what I'm reading.  I picked up and older copy and noticed that it was actually originally published in London in 1939 as Ten Little Niggers.  Yes, niggers; and it was set on Nigger Island.  Wow, I could not believe it!  Apparently, it tried to publish as the same in America, but we found it too offensive (as it should be/is) and was instead as Indians.  Although, this is horrible, I understand that it adds a whole new element to the book.  In which case makes me want to read it so I can see if it changes half the point of the story as I think it will.

    Looking into all this I noticed not much has changed in the thinking of a lot of Londoners.  I'm not saying they all are the same.  But from what I have found on the internet, the mentality of blacks and whites are still segregated over there.  I always wanted to go over there, but now I'm thinking otherwise.  I encounter racism here, but I think it's taken to a whole new level over there, and I'm not excited to find out anytime soon. I do hope I'm wrong, but what do you know or think of racism in London? 

    I'm finished looking for today but this was one of the most offensive I've seen:

    http://thisis50.com/forum/topics/nigger-nigga-nigger-nigga

    I of course responded.  He posed the question "WHY OH WHY IS IT ACCEPTABLE IN AMERICA AND DO YOU NOT FEEL SOME SOUGHT OF WAY WHEN YOU HEAR A NON BLACK PERSON SAY THE WORD NIGGA/NIGGER LIKE IT'S NOTHING" ?      He had quite a few comments, and several he responded to. I personally don't think anyone should use either words. Shouldn't we all be thoughtful of what our words we use and what they really entail?  I think there is a much bigger underlying issue with this subject that needs to be addressed.  Maybe if we can get to it and work on it, some of these serious but menial issues will be resolved as well.  But I would like to know the thoughts others have on the subject.  On all of this really.  What are yours? 

    (I added his site so that everyone can let themselves be heard on this issue.  Not just here, but there as well.)

     

    My response to Dizzy:

    As you said, it is cultural. Terms and actions used in one area will mean, more than likely, something else in another area. It is what is media-ized, publized, and what the "idols" are encouraging. It comes across to me in England blacks and whites are still segregated. (maybe not physically, but definately mentaly.) In America we have had the Civil Rights Movement. Although our grandparents had problems with it, our parents less so, and this generation seems to rarely be seen. In my generation and those younger than me, for the most part, blacks and whites are people. Some still don't agree with the mixing during relations or being married. But other than that, black, white, red, etc., we are just people.


    In America nigger/nigga is acceptable. Wrong or not, used appropriately or not, it's acceptable. In our grandparents time nigger was used and was derogatory. In our time nigga is used and it's considered cool. If not with everyone, it is in circles; be it at a club, a party, with our friends, or those we are close to. You will not hear it in businesses of course, but you will elsewhere.

    I do not agree with this though. Nigger/nigga means the same in retro spect. Nigga comes from the word nigger. How can anyone use it knowing that it ultimately has a derogatory meaning? Why would anyone use a word with each other they would not accept/allow others to use? No matter the context, the meaning of a word ultimately does not change. Even if you find it okay with friends, why would you consider someone a friend that ultimately does not respect you? How and when did a deragorty word become a term of endearment? Am I the only person who finds this disturbing?

    I understand ebonics changes the word. It does not make it another word, although it is perceived that way. Ebonics, is just that, ebonics: black english. If it is not proper english -and England uses it more properly than us in the USA- it is exactly that, not proper English. I thought in the older days that the blacks didn't use proper English because they were enslaved and not educated. Although it was not just like ebonics as it is today, it was an uneducated dialect of our language. It was unacceptable in the community unless a black was to use it; and we all know how they were viewed. Since today whites and blacks alike are educated why would we want to come across as not? What was the point in intergregation if you want to be segregated? We are all judged, by our words as well as our actions. When we act and speak uneducated we are viewed as uneducated. And in that sense if we are not using what we have learned, we are keeping ourselves in bondage.

    In America our rappers, singers, actors, etc. are depicted as uneducated. They don't use our language correctly, they don't clothe themselves fully, etc. Society allows, condones, and actually encourages what we see, do and allow. Back in the day a billboard used incorrect usage of english, it caused such an upheavel that it was removed. Apparently they came back. But my point is, how did we become a society like that to how it is today? Where our children curse as young as 2 and are barely dressed beyond underclothes, our pants are falling off, we swagger instead of walk, we are our own gods, our money is more important than our family, our bodies more important than our minds or souls, I could go on and on. If our society allows, condones, encourage this and more we are beyond accepting it. We will follow suit, and so we have. Parents and friends encourage this and more because, it's acceptable, cool, it's expected or entertaining, or simply we find it cute in our children younger than 7.

    So how can you, or anyone for that matter, act the way they do (in your case, use nigger/nigga) and not expect others to follow suit? Time and time again, a child -or young adult or older- hears a curse word, you think "why should I not, they already know or use it?" Maybe they do, maybe they don't. But you are allowing, in the least condoning, and are encouraging it when you use that word or any variation of it. If they hear it time and time again, it is viewed as accepted or expected. Especially in America where black and whites are intergrated (or are said to be and wanting to be) how can one use it and not expect it to catch on? Even if it is from another race. If I (or any of us) are you view you as an equal, nothing besides our physical attributes should create a barrier between us. Noone should be able to use a word or an action and not allow or expect another to. If you do not like someone using a term ("yours" or not) you should not use it.

    The point I'm trying to drive home is this: no word belongs to anyone. No action belongs to anyone. We as people (and especially the uneducated) immulate all behaviors of those around us. If we are surrounded day in and out of anything, you cannot expect everyone to pick up on and follow it. Being a hypocrite and then hurting others is never justified, 0% justified. If you don't like something, don't do it. People cannot follow what they don't see and hear. Our world, as one and individually, as well as America call for greatness and for growth, yet encourage the exact opposite. You are responsible for your own actions and words. If you do not use what you know, you cannot be great.

    And in the grand scheme of things, if any other person white, black or any other color uses a word you use. (At all. Ever.) You have no place to say they can not. Even though this topic is important, if we truly respect each other this wouldn't be an issue. We need to respect ourselves, before we can expect others to respect us. What once was a derogatory word, is now activly used by everyone. Even a variation of the word, has the same meaning no matter how it's used. If you want to see this word disappear (from any one of a different color) everyone needs to stop using it. To gain respect, we must immulate respect. When we respect ourselves, others will respect us.

Tuesday, 03 March 2009

  • Pregnant 9 yr old

    The topic of abortion comes up over and over.  Different circumstances make us analyze and rethink our stand on the issue.  It then makes us evaluate and organize our thoughts, among our morals, values, and ethics.  Then there's the basics of every person, of what's right and what  is wrong.  What should be allowed and what shouldn't, and to who.

    It has now come up that as young as 9 years old, our girls might be able to get pregnant.  It comes to light almost daily that our children our having sex, or "experimenting", at a younger age.  Instead of wondering why, how can we change this for the better, and when and how should we tell our children about sex, we are asking the old question: is it okay for her to have an abortion?    Is it just me, or are we forgetting what's really important? I derail.

    So the new story is a girl in Brazil (?) was abused by her stepfather for years, so was the girl's sister. The country does not allow abortions, but for two reasons.  This applies to one.  The girl is now 9 yr and pregnant... the clincher:  with TWINS!     There's claim that she does not have the pelvic bone structure to give birth to twins.   So again the question by millions is:    is it okay for her to have an abortion?  what is your take on it?


    Since these days we break down everything to concrete ideas, to solid truths, to science, let us break it down.  Let us break down the morals and ethics of abortion.

    Scientifically:     She has the hormones to get pregnant.  This means she had the hormones to ovulate.  If one is ovulating, one has gone through several other body changes. She has had and does have the hormones that allows her body to become pregnant and carry out a pregnancy.    Of course there is the account of the uterus.  The uterus isn't what does or does not allow one to become pregnant, that is up to the sperm.  Now when the overies ovulate, when that egg breaks through the lining of the overy it sits in the philopian tube.  It is here that the egg can be fertilized.  It then slids down the tube into and onto the side of the uterus and stays.  It may also be fertilized here.  We all know what happens if it does not get fertilized.

    If the egg does not slide down into the uterus, it is then considered to be one type/form of an ectopic pregnancy.  (some infact do float around, or even outside the tube and uterus, though they are not very common.)  -which is what I and others have had.  Now these are not considered normal pregnancies. In the event of an ectopic, the cell(s) don't divide and develope correctly.  They are infact more of a mass than fetus. The cells rarely, if ever, form actual organs. In blunt terms, it would be a living organism only when it's attached to the host... it could never be independent; a severely deformed organism that wouldn't even look human.  This is why they are not considered a fetus, a baby, a child; nor could they ever be.  They are all very dangerous to the host, the mother.  The ones outside all walls wont even be able to reach full term (execpt the one found that body was able to encase, and was more of a baby in a rock in the mothers side pushing all her other organs-that's another story) where even a c-section is able to be performed.  That's not even considering how ill she could become because all the fighting cells will constantly be attacking it and not any would-be ailments.  Inside the tube it's a growing organism that will burst through the tube around week 10. It will then cause internal bleeding, which if not caught and prevented would cause anyone to die.

    There is is for you.  She's pregnant and if her uterus allows it and she comes to full term she can have to baby.  She might need a c-section, but she can have it.  If she can't provide for it, I'm sure someone else will.  With enough coverage, which there probably all ready is, one can adopt one or both.  She doesn't have to raise it.  But should she carry to full term if she doesn't want to, is the underlying question. This is actually the underlying question basically everytime this question comes up.

    What I don't understand is:   A legal adult kills someone it's considered  murder.  A mother kills a child, her child, it's not.  wtf???   When scientifically cells, or even a cell, is considered an organism... how is, what is basically a parasite -an organism that feeds off another- .. a fetus, not considered a person, let alone a child?   

    I don't even consider the over the counter "day after" pill okay.  If it is only one cell that is not yours, and not of some bacteria or virus, it is not yours!  It is not you!     I mean if we can question the death penalty to a grown adult of murder or several accounts of murder.. where do any of us get off questioning or suggesting it's okay to kill, murder, an innocent victim because of the actions one made or did not affected her become pregnant? No one is saying you need to raise the baby, there are many others who will gladly do it for you. 

    In the grand scheme of things, is nine months of your life really worth murdering another?

    When you get down to it... what everyone is arguing about is - the big question is:   how young does the victim have to be in order for someone to get away with murder?



  • I'm so excited!  Our two year anniversary is coming up!!!

    I am so blessed to have him as a husband.  He is a great spouse making the marriage amazingly wonderful and easy, and life more enriching for me.  Yay me!

SirenVixen

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    • Name: SirenVixen
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    • Member Since: 10/27/2004

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About Me

  • I'm very opinionated and like to voice them. I'm a lady, slightly crazy, married, an aries, and so much more... I am what I am!!